mirror

looking at my reflecton justa few minets ago I saw myself old for the first time, it's sureal, I could see for the first time what i look like as an adult. I've seen outher with this look. a bit sunken. showing my age.
earler i was on the mekong, i had a bucket with some hot coles and a clay pot of boiling soup, stomic lining, beef, difrent green plants, and the random bug that was in there. it kept coming to mind, all this training, isn't really for any reason, it just stuck in my mind i'm not getting stronger just older.
I know i'm not that old, but that kept coming to mind.
buying gum i don't even want from dirty street kids. watching people with there cigrets and booze, almost a bit jellous about the companiship I can remember these items gave.
I walked past my guest houes after with a snack, some friends were outside, i walked down the street and ate in a dark small ally.
the hookers left me alone.
so on it goes, the good the bad. and all the solatary hours.
in a hurry to get back in a hurry to stay.
not wanting ither but not knowing what else to do.
and the seat to my bike is still hard as a basterd. damit